3.27.2008

heart break??dissapointed??hate??i aready dunno how it feels like..

can anyone accept ur own partner to lie in the journey of the relationship?
8 months...we had been together for 8 months...
he had be lying to me 4 8 months...
wat can i do??hate u??no...i wont make myself so missareble anymore...
when i saw the msg u send to her...how i feel??
i feel so stupid...i feel so heart pain...
i still ask her to give u a chance...becoz the one u love is her...
im the one who feel sad,i m the one who feel hurt..
and i m also the one who ask u to b together wit her...
n ask her to give u another chance..

有哪个女人可以做到那么大方给你??
自己受伤还要安慰你。。
自己爱你。。还要听你说爱的人是她。。
还要忍受自己看到你写给她的东西。。。

Six years ago on august 29 2002,i met one girl name flone. why her name flone? i gave her this name because it carries a phase "Forever Love ONE'.
She tattoo her name in my heart and will be forever because she will be irreplaceable no matter when. She is caring, cute, considerate, good girl, love me tenderly, always put me in the number one place, will be my side no matter what.
ON NOVEMBER 2002 after celebrating my birthday, we had a unforgetable experience because she had chosen me instead of her own parents and this made me feel so happy and proud. she has chosen me instead of her parents because she believe that i'll take good care of her entire life, and make her the happiest woman in the world. she always treated herself married woman.
On the month itself, she came to stay with me after chosen me than her parents. we had a great time together. we sleep together, wake up together, we buy groserries together, she accompany me to work, she prepare everything for me before sleep and after sleep, we had fun together, we had our own life together..wonderful life but this life last only for five days before end.
on the day her parents came and snatched her away while i was working, my brother called me for the news and i was so so so so sad and rush home but unfortunately, i can't see her again.after this incident, we had a hard time to betogether but we never give up. we can't see each other, can ask each other something until the time i wrote to her, half a year time.
ON THE BEGINNING OF 2003, we have started to see each other again and we cried so much because of misses.one fine day, she bought a ring (cost RM5) for me. even though it was a RM 5 ring but the ring was the most irreplaceable thing in my life because in a true love, money is nothing.
ON THE FIRST QUATER ON THE YEAR, i was station outstation for working purpose and will come back to vist her every two weeks. When i come back for that 2 days every two weeks, 100% of the time will be given to her and we had a great memories too.
she will save every single cent (RM2) perday until i come back 2 weeks later and she will spend the hard saved money for a movie and ice cream but that will be the most wonderful time i have ever had.
when i was at outstation, she still stayed with her parents so whenever i called her, we never spoke to each other but i was talking to myself and answer question for myself because she cannot speak in the house.things that she has done will be only bring happiness to me and things that i have done is to support her studies as i will give half of my hard earned salary to her every month.
ON THE SECOND QUATER UNTIL END OF 2003, we had the same life until 2004.
we had happiness until october 18 2007, we broke up this relationship after 5 difficult years together just because i have made a mistake by getting along with another girl when our relationship became dull after she has started working in
singapore.
I miss her throughly everyday and cries at the night. i waited in front of her house every morning just because i want to see her once. i'm so unhappy now because the gitl who i hug is not the one i wish to hug. i will never forget the way we went through, the laughter, the sweet memories, the cries, the events.
i was thinking of turning back time but it is not possible again. I miss her so much.
i have only one word to say if i have a chance to say. i still loving her and will be forever.~ The End ~

this is how i know wat is he thinking 8 months...and this i s how i know he cheat me..

hehe, thanks abt yesterday tell the thing to her.. i also wont so hard to live. that all i want to tell her de thing already done at the blog. i did`t fou ren. i admit what i did on the blog.. all truth. don wish live in lying myself so hard.. now.. i feel better.. at least i already no lying myself to live
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u can hate me everything.. but can just be a friend with me? haiz.. don block me ma.. so sad. on the blog i write de all truth.. anyway.. take care o.
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no matter how bad i am.. at the last.. i still back to home. if this time.. still can back home. i wont go out again and again. :) honestly i miss u alot.. u scold me everything i heart pain but its ok. because i really did something not gonna did to u.. i regret also no use right? but i am.. haiz. i choose honest to everybody.. at least they know what i am thinking. i not ever lie to u again.. hehe as my wish to be with u again. but i know its impossibe to u.. so i not dare to think also. keke. can be a friend can adi.. but really not wish u block me. because if like tat i cant even contact u.. just a contact and chat a normal chat like that i enough le.. i beg u ok? pls
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haiz.. i know you to feel right now. but... ok. if u think like that i have nothing to say. i really make alot of mistake liao. i don want anymore. so.. to be alone its ok. i cant able to accept another because my heart always wont be anyone d. nvm jiu let me alone.. miss u can adi. i also wont do something lie to myself again. wont hurt ppl again.. i scare the feel of hurt ppl also scare to hurt ppl again.
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this 160 days.. no one day i no miss u de. u can see but u can don believe everything. i not lying .. is serious. i know i did wrong b4.. i wont be a bad guy anymore lu. so must take care know? keke.. let me alone miss u can adi. i am ok de. for not my thinking is just.. go through what you heart thinking.. if cant just miss alone de. enough lor. take care ya.. :) work properly.. i love and miss u alot.. i admit. unfortune i cant get anything le.. i am bad b4. i don want want to be bad really don want. so i accept u all say iam shit. because i really am b4... i know what iam doing and thinkking right now. iam wake up de not sleeping. hehe... don wish to quarrel with u.. just want to be a normal friend with u i also very happy already lor.. not dare to think much adi. i owe u alot alot. i cant pay back u this life. but now i really just miss u.. and i miss alone can adi.. i don want to make u dificult.. i am bad. so sorry.. sorry agian



I do all the thing is that my wrong? i do and do.. also do for u.. u know? like that i get u scold as a shit. my heart.. keep missing u.. keep loving u.. i choose to give up with another girl. is that a wrong? u think properly ba.. if like that also wrong.. i got nothing to say. haiz.. i give up her.. i just wish can be a normal friend with u.. will very hard? for those thing izzi make u more hate me? because i hurt another gal? that not same.. i hurt her not because i go look for other. i just cant remember my past.. i honestly answer her.. admit all the thing that i miss u and loving u. wrong? if.. i with her and look for another girll. u call me shit.. i can accept.. understand? that y i keep tell u i just do what my heart really wanna do.. is that wrong? i really wrong so much? i keep wrong de?
y le? what happen lor.. i really don know oh. do so much.. just want a normal friend also cant.. sad la. i change alot .. i know what i do now.. not as before. sorry. i learn something when u not be with me. that is.. have to do what i really wanna do. no lying.. no force myself. i selfish.. i admit. y? just because i love u so i give up her.. y i make u more angry of me? if the answer is this? i really don know la. haiz.. desprate already.
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I know. but u know or not.. i really really regret.. for u maybe is no use liao. but for me.. i learn alot . don say fetch u back from custom.. u want me everyday fetch u to and back also can.. i willing. want know y? if got chance. . i wont lose again.. and wont do same mistake again. this few month i never forget u . because it wont. i just say o.. u don angry ah. so if me together with her also wont happy.. because is very hard.. if i loving other ppl and together with not same ppl.. so.. better alone. correct? both also wont hard
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but its real de.. if really i loving a person. how i gonna go love other person. and other personh how to accept her bf love other person? correct?

this is wat he write to her...

all this ....how can i bear wit it??wat can i do..nothing...

any girl can bear wit tis??

3.04.2008

哎哟。。。失眠。。。??

好闷。。。我想睡觉。。。但是睡不着。。。
习惯一两点睡了。。。
现在这个时间要睡。。。好难。。。

最近再赶学校的assignment..好多。。
又要摄影,又要做模型。。。啊!!!!!!








lazy to blog~~~~~!!

somebody buy some slping pills 4 me!!